the 6th day

Angel hasn't spoke to Strawberry for almost a week and he was going to continue, but then he didn't. This is because on the 6th day of silence, there was a phone call for his colleague in the office, however, the guy wasn't in, so Angel picked it up instead. As standard procedure, Angel would always ask who the caller was and to his surprise, it was Strawberry. He couldn't recognize her voice as she had a sore throat. Because of that he broke his silence. The next day, he made some drinks for her to sooth the throat and they start to text each other and also talked, to make sure she is getting well.

However, Angel still stood to his silence, he would text her like once a while or talk to her for a bit in a day. He would show her that he had moved on. But most of his emotions and thoughts are hold up inside him. There is so much he wanted to tell her. So much he wanted to do for her but he can't. One thing for sure, he needed a hug from anyone, anybody, somebody. He is tired and exhausted both physically and emotionally. He just wished she could give him a hug like he did for her before. Just one hug that's all. She still fills his thoughts all the time. Only difference is that he is able to hold on and pretend that everything is alright with him.

Kiss the Rain

Its been two days, Angel hasn't talked or text Strawberry. It has been really hard for him but he try to resist. He is doing this to shed his skin and remove any negative emotions he have. Nevertheless, she constantly fills his thoughts. Everytime he left his office he would always try and take a glimpse into her office just to see her. He wanted so badly to talk to her, but he couldn't. Not now at least, as he might just say or do unnecessary things. He thought maybe by doing so he can give her a normal day without him bothering or annoying or giving her any troubles. He knows she may not think like that but thats how things must go. At least for him.

One thing for sure by doing so, he is changing. He has cut down the number of cigarettes he smoke. Bad thing about it is he gave up bfast and lunch. During one of these afternoons, it rained. He was so excited, he ran under it. The moment the rain drops on his head, he felt so good and refreshed. The rain seems to take his troubles away. But unfortunately, while he ran, he slipped and sprained his ankle. Yet the excitement just took his mind off the pain. When it stopped raining, the first thing that popped into his mind was what Strawberry said to him before, when he was having troubles, was "After the rain there is always a rainbow". But in his rain, there has never been a rainbow. So he will find that rainbow himself. If it doesn't appear he will make his own rainbow.

Number?

Later that night, Angel planned to drink till drunk. So he started with one beer, followed by more Jack Daniel's Whiskey. That night he drank alot of the whiskey. More than he usually drinks. He had a few shots of tequila too. But after that he decided to stop drinking. He isn't tipsy or near drunk. He stopped because he decided there is no point to being drunk, it only proves how weak he is. Drinking doesnt solve anything, he realised that and so he left home early. Throughout the whole night he would wonder how and what is she doing and hoping she would text him. Around 3 am the next day he got a call from an unknown number. This call was made to his personal phone. A phone only for Strawberry and a few selected people. He picked up the call but the person hung up.

Not knowing who and unable to get back to sleep he, asked his other friends first, before he asked Strawberry, as he doesn't want to bother Strawberry in what ever she is doing at that time. Around 4 am he got a reply from Strawberry saying she didn't call. He replied asking how come she is still awake at that time and he starts to wonder if she is ok and if she had drank alot. But she only replied that she is alright. He spend a few more hours awake just in case Strawberry might need him. He knew it would not happen and yet he still waited. He misses her alot and thats all he can do. Miss her and keep his feelings inside, while pretending he is alright in front of her.

The Evade

Angel had a bbq gathering, with his colleagues and friends, and on the same night Strawberry has a party to attend to. Earlier that day, he went down to the neighboring country to buy some liquor with a friend for the gathering. While they were there, his friend decided to go to a new shopping mall to buy some clothes and also at the same time have breakfast at McDonalds. Angel was hesitating as he got a big feeling that Strawberry would be there. After what had happened, Angel felt it would be awkward to talk and see her. Angel and his friend spend a long time looking for a parking lot as it was a public holidays hence, there were alot of cars. After a few turns, his friend spotted a familiar car that had just parked. When Angel drove past he saw Cloud and he knew at that moment Strawberry would be there. So he told his friend to go somewhere else to eat instead. His friend being hungry and also tired of waiting for a parking spot, agreed.

Its not that Angel didn't want to see her. It was the other way round, he wanted so much to see her and even as they drove away he still looked at the mirror just to look at her. He just thought he would spoil her mood if she had seen him, and so he left her just so she can enjoy her shopping without having to worry about bumping to each other. So he send her a text about him being there and leaving to another place to eat. Angel may not know what she is thinking but he wants to give her space.

Ascension to Heaven

Angel's final words for Strawberry:

"I have changed, i know. I lost my confidence and you don't feel secured. I have became weak. I've always made u worried about me and giving u so much troubles, I am really sorry. I didn't mean it. I know I'm not perfectly well but did you know i have given up so much just so i could make you happy and less worried, and also for everyone else the way you would want me to. I stopped driving really fast not because you told me to. But because I want to drive safe, avoid accidents and take you out. By driving safe, I can give you a ride with comfort yet enjoyable. At first, I was stubborn to heal myself, my health. But you were the reason I went so far just to get myself well. I want to live longer. If the treatments can extend my life one day longer, I will still go for it because that would mean I can see your smile one more day. Even now, I'm still taking really careful of myself. I've started to control my food diet, control my sports, smoked and drink alcohol less. There was a time when you wouldn't allow me to play my favorite sport. Regardless who or what can't change my mind of playing except for you. It was the first time I have cried. I cried not because you won't let me play but because i couldn't enjoy the sport the way i want it, I wasn't fit enough to play. I don't know if you have noticed, but I'm also working really hard at office like never before. But, even if you do not have someone else, I would've still left you. For I know, how I am now, I couldn't make you happy. Give me sometime, I definitely will come back to you stronger, plus I told you before,

"I cannot give you the world, but I will make your world happier ".

Even without being anyone special to you I will and can do it. I will be the person you want me to be, which is, my true self. Believe me one last time"

Strawberry Sweetness

Angel loves the bubbly and cheerful person that Strawberry is. She has the most warming smile and the loudest laughter. She is really loud and talks alot. She loves to smell her hair which is also her favorite part of her body. She prefers strawberries instead of cherries. She would always think of people close to her instead of her ownself. But she is also in someway selfish for she would never let people know how or what she thinks and feel. She has the biggest eyes that sparkled brighter than the stars when she is happy. She would sometimes cover her mouth when she laughs but its still very loud. She doesn't like to see mess, if she shes some she would clean it up. If it is someone elses mess she would clean it up while complaining. She doesn't like to be forced to do the things she doesnt want to do. Never say she is short or fat, otherwise she will gif u a good pinch if you're close to her and if you're lucky she would just laugh or sulk. She would always make Angel guess on random and impossible things like which colour pen she would use or whats the birthdate of someone she knows and Angel doesnt. She only sings to herself or just when she feels like singing but Angel would always tease her saying it would rain when she sings. After that she would ask Angel " Not nice meh i sing". The funny thing is, she has a great voice but she doesnt like to sing infront of a crowd even if the crowd is everyone she knows. She loves to eat but controls her portions of food. He would always remember to adjust the seatof his car just the way she like it, to suit her comfort. Her biggest attribute would be, everything has to go her way, but sometimes she would give you a chance. She is a tough and scary person at first but really soft hearted. If there's one word Angel could use to describe her is Crazy, and thats what he likes about her.

Just a Feeling

After all that has happened, Angel realised that the reasons she doesn't want to answer his questions were maybe because she didn't want to hurt him or the time isn't right. But she didn't know that by not telling, Angel is suffering even more than if she had done so. She never know he just wants to be able to talk to her like he always has. He knows the pressure she is going through, she didn't how he is trying his best to help her. The more he does, the more pressure he gives her.

All he wanted was her to be happy. The memories and times he spend with her will never be forgotten and the feelings he has for her will never fade. For him, his feelings will always remain the same for her never less only more. Out of so many photographs he has taken of her, only one photograph he could never capture but always remain in his mind. That photograph would be the time she smile. The smile that shows she is happy, in comfort and warms even the coldest heart. The smile that he always sees in her before they close to each other.

Now Angel could only remember the time he would be able to walk, under the same sky, with her under her umbrella during a hot day. He used to joke about how she would fly away everytime she opens up that umbrella. He also will remember the nights she spent with him comforting each other. Those memories he always wish he can still do the same now. If Angel could spend one more night with her, he would take her for a slow dance at the beach they always spend their nights under the carpet of stars and the Moon. He would love to be able to play badminton with her again, where she usually talk and laugh more than playing. He still awaits the chance to play with her as a doubles partner. Angel is moving on and moving away. If ever she needs him, he will always be there for her as if he had never left.

Sounds of Silence

For a few days. Angel didn't talk nor text to Strawberry and neither did she. It was a hard time for him and the words i hate you keep replaying in his mind over and over again. He wanted to text her, but he was scared. It wasn't long before she texted him and ask if he was angry at her. He said he wasn't. Which was true because he knew she was under pressure and knew she just said that out of anger. After that, things went back to normal, they talked and laughed. Just like how he likes it to be.

This lasted for a long time. Until he asked her again if she liked him and how she feels about him. She couldn't answer him. He wanted the answer but he knows she wouldn't tell. Time flies, and he felt more and more lost. Angel was always looking for her asking her questions. Yet she wouldn't answer. Everyday, every hour, every minute, every second he thinks about her. she is always filling his thoughts. Questions left unanswered and talking to her was hard. He was going crazy. Until eventually, he asked her again if he have hope with her. She chose not to answer. He kept forcing her until she had to tell him he has no hope with her. He knew she would be angry. But he has his reasons for doing so.

He wanted so much to be able to talk to her like before. By doing so he had messed things up once again. This will be another silent period for both. What lies ahead nobody knows. One thing for sure Angel will walk away temporarily.

Blast From The Past

The next morning, Angel goes to work and looked for Strawberry as usual before they start work. Everything was great and seems like its going to be a great day like the last 2 days. Just before lunch, strawberry text him and asked about Tofu. He replied her the answer she needs. After that Angel asked her if everything was alright. She didn't reply him. Instead she told him that he needs to be fair to Tofu and give Tofu a chance. He knew at that moment someone must've said something but he didn't know who. After that, they didn't text each other for a while. Suddenly Tofu text him and ask if they could meet up. He told Strawberry that he will talk to Tofu later in the afternoon and settle things with her. Strawberry told him " Dont need to tell me. I dont want to know". He ignored it and met up with Tofu as said.

When Tofu and Angel met up, they talk about the same thing as they had did which is about why they need to break up and if Tofu still have a chance back. Angel told her how they cannot be together and insisted on his decision to break up. Tofu seemed to accept the break up but somehow Angel felt that something was still not right. When they went their separate ways, Angel texted Strawberry that everything is settled hoping it would relief her. But she never replied. The next day, Angel thought things will return back to normal and thought the day before was just messed up. But turns out its not, instead things just gets worse from there. Angel looked for Strawberry in her office and tried to talk to her but Strawberry walked out of the office just like that. It was the first time she did that to him. He kept asking her whats wrong but she wouldn't tell. Suddenly, she asked him what he tell to people about him and Tofu. At that time, he also found out Tofu had been telling people at their workplace about what is going with Angel and Tofu. After that, he told her that, he only tell his side of his story of his problem with Tofu. The more he talked to Strawberry the angrier she gets, until she reached a point where she even said "I HATE YOU...forget everything and that nothing has happened between you and me".

It was like stab to the heart when he read this. There was a rush of emotions. Angel didn't know what to do and so he followed his anger and confronted Tofu on why she is involving so many people in this. He thought he made it clear when he wanted to break up but he didn't know she still hasn't accept his reasonings. So he decided to tell her that she likes Strawberry but actually he is just saying this so she would give up and accept the break up. She slapped him three times. It hurts but Angel felt relieved as he knows she finally can let go.

The Prayer

The next day, Angel already planned for a trip to the temple with Baldie and Dumpling. Baldie decided he would pick Angel up instead. To his surprise, Baldie brought Strawberry along. She was using a blue Nike cap and a blue shirt. He was speechless and really happy. They sat together at the back passenger seat of the car. He felt really close to her. He was hesistating to hold her hand, which is just a few centimetres away. At the temple, everyone made their prayers. Angel's prayer was simple. He just want to walk through life with Strawberry. He just want to be with her, through good times and bad. He just wanted to be with her, just that simple. He prayed hard, repeating his prayer over and over at every point, suddenly at one point, the incense ash fell and burnt his finger. It left a mark which is still visible until now. They left the temple and went for a drink at a nearby restaurant. Angel was really surprised at how much Strawberry ate. The reason for this was simply because Strawberry has some problems eating. She take too much she will vomit. But, that day was different. She was a FOOD MONSTER that day. They went to a nearby furniture shop and a clothing shop and all the while Angel was just next to Strawberry. He just couldnt leave her side.

After that they went home. Angel was hoping they can continue and just go somewhere but he held back his tongue and just agreed to go back. When at home, the first thing he did was already texting her. It was funny because he still can see their car leaving his house when he text her. Thats how fast he already misses her. They continued texting each other after that, one text after another. Teasing and joking with each other. Angel wanting to see Strawberry as soon as possible, went to bed early, as he knows Strawberry was tired. As they had a late night a night ago. That Saturday and Sunday became the best weekend Angel ever had and a weekend he would never forget.

Thoughts of Nature

While Angel was lost and going through a hard time, he seeked Strawberry out. They've spent countless nights together, just talking and comforting one another. She has her problems and he has his. They talked about almost everything, even their own deepest secrets to each other. Secrets that Angel could never tell to Tofu. They had so much fun together. He was always joking around as usual and she would always be laughing. It was these nights, that Angel has been thinking about while he was away and he wants to spend more nights with Strawberry. He wants to be next to her. He wants to see her smile and hear her laughter. He wants to look at her eyes, that sparkled brighter than the stars everytime. Simply because he had realised he loves her.

With these thoughts and feelings, he decided to return. It was a bright Saturday, a day he would never forget. In the afternoon, Strawberry had made something for him while she eagerly waits for him, unfortunately Angel didn't know. Instead he went out with his friends. They had planned a small gathering and Strawberry was invited. At first, she didn't wanted to go but in the end she changed her mind. Everyone had a good time. They talked, joked and played a few drinking games. It was 4am and time to go home. Angel was sending a friend, Dumpling, and Strawberry back. Dumpling stays nearby to Strawberry. After dropping dumpling off, Strawberry told Angel she doesn't want to go back yet. What she didn't know was that Angel was hoping for the same thing because he kept it to his own heart.

As usual they talked alot, this time Angel talked alot more on how he feels towards Strawberry. He asked Strawberry "Do you like me?" She replied "What do you think?". All these while he was never sure she felt the same as he did. But from the look of her eyes and the way she smiled, he knew the answer. It was a night he would never forget.

The Flight of the Bumblebee

Angel with his mind all messed up decided to fly to another place and hide. A place where no one can find him. A place he can be alone. It was a bright monday morning, Angel bought a ticket, packed his clothes and decided to leave but his flight was the next day. He thought he would spend his last nights with his close friends. He said his goodbyes to his other friends and everyone. Everyone except Strawberry. He didn't want her to know as he knows she would be sad. It was before bedtime that she realised what is going on and texted him.

They had a short texting session before he told her he wants to sleep. But actually he was feeling really happy to have known her and really sad to have to leave her. He spent the whole night thinking about the goodtimes he had with everyone especially the nights he spent with Strawberry. After some careful thinking and a bit of some persuasion from his buddy, Angel decided to stay and face any challenge that may come. Angel cancelled his flight but still left to somewhere where its far from everyone but closer to Strawberry. All the while he was at that "somewhere", Angel manage to calm his mind. He was relax and at peace. He could think much clearer and more focused. All the while he spent thinking, things start to became more clearer and decisions were made. It was also then he realised, he felt something more to Strawberry than just friends. A feeling he can't describe not with words nor actions. A feeling he had never felt with anyone before.

The Leaves Fall

Like weights the burden Angel is carrying piles up until a point where he was breaking. It wasn't long, before he decided he need to end the relationship as it was going nowhere and if he plays with time, he would hurt Tofu even more. But problem is, he doesn't know how to tell Tofu as he still hopes he can still be friends with her. At this time, Angel became closer and closer to Strawberry. Angel needed someone to talk to so he decided to look for Strawberry. They talked alot. Angel opened up to Strawberry and so did she but not entirely.

Then it happened one day, Tofu found out about one of the gatherings. She was asking Angel about it, yet Angel still tried to denied it and it later became an argument where Angel then decided then and there to break up with her. At that time, for Angel, they had broken up. Unfortunately to Tofu its a process of breaking up and not a break up. And she kept fighting on hoping Angel would change his mind. But she didn't know how hard its making Angel. Angel reached a point where he doesn't know what to do. He was going crazy and the only thing he can think of is by running away.

A New Branch

First few days at his new office, Angel was very excited but after a while he noticed something different with this new environment. The difference is the environment itself. Last time, it was all loud and noisy but it was all great and everyone was always smiling, laughing and having a gud time. Now, its just cold silence with a bit of laughs here and there but not like how it used to be. Angel himself is a talkative person and also a joker always making jokes, lame or not, he would still joke and laugh. Having not used to the silence, he would always visit the Main office just to fool around for a bit. At first he thought visiting his old cubicle would be good.

But things just aren't the same as before because most of the people, like him, have moved on to different places. One person remains the same though and that person, on that time and day, change everything he is. That person is Strawberry. At first, he would look for her almost everyday, teasing her and laughing with her. They became friends, however, they only see each other during working days. Sometimes they would go to parties or gatherings organised by her close friends who are also her colleagues. After a few sessions they also became his close friends.

But everytime Angel hangs out with them, he hardly had much fun as his mind would be thinking about how wrong it feels having to lie to Tofu telling her he is at work or got other things to do instead of spending time with her. But even so, Tofu would still trust him and never doubted him and that is what is killing him even more inside.

Year of the Tofu

Tofu and Angel had a very interesting relationship. At first everything was going well and they have sweet nicknames for each other. However Tofu decided to leave the company, Angel as her boyfriend was very supportive and everything was good. Angel and Tofu spent much time together, however Angel isn't so much of an angel to Tofu. In that relationship, Tofu had put in more efforts than Angel does. Tofu had give out so much instead of receiving simply because Angel is a lazy and stupid person who has lied alot and given a lot of false promises to Tofu.

Everytime he does something wrong he would try to repent but things just gets worse and worse. For Tofu, everything seemed ok. She is happy and smiling, but she never realise how much Angel is suffering inside. The guilt he is carrying all the time. The guilt of having to lie or do things behind her back. However, he didn't cheat on her throughout the whole time. Although Angel tries so much to make her happy, however no matter what he does the guilt still lingers and the burden gets heavier each day. But, Angel manage to hold on to the relationship for one year plus. It was about that time, that Angel had moved to a new office just a few blocks down the Main building.

What Fruit?

It was the first day of work and after a few meet and greet sessions, with people who would be his colleagues, Angel returned back to his cubicle, shared with 5 other people. It was then she came in and asked "Where is the new guy? How come no one take him around for introduction? By the way, my name is Strawberry."

He was surprised and thought to himself "This girl is very loud. She looked like is of a mixed race of either filipino and chinese or Iban with chinese."

He didn't know and didn't asked either, cause that would be very rude of him. They hardly talk to each other. The only times they meet was when she would come in either with food to distribute around the office, to hunt for food or to talk to Breeze. Breeze is a very hardworking girl, however she is also very talkative and loud too. First thing that Angel noticed when he first met Breeze was the ultra long hairs on her arms. It was freakishly long for girls to have on their arms. But nonetheless, Angel always have a good laugh talking to her.

Things remain this way for a few months until Angel met Tofu. A girl who works in the same company just a floor below Angel. After spending much time at Tofu's office, nibbling on all the junk foods Tofu always store, Angel later started a relationship with her.